In Non-Cycling-Related News . . . - 05/22/07

So, I learned yesterday of an "emergency evacuation drill" the building in which I work would be subject to today. As part of the reactive post-9/11 fall out, those working in skyscrapers across the country are, once per year, subject to this evacuation practice.

What a load of horse shit!

First off, I work in Denver. No terrorist activity is going to happen in Denver. Ever. Second, I work on the 29th floor of a 31-story building. If a terrorist were to fly a plane into this building, the 29th floor would be tomahawked right off and I would die an immediate, jet fuel-inspired death. Thirdly, terrorists have moved on. It's like they have a legal pad checklist. On 9/11, they checked off "Fly plane into large building in large US city". We're not going to see this happen again. We are being totally reactive and, thus, remaining a couple steps behind the terrorists. Some people may feel safer for it, but I feel inconvenienced and pissed off.

And, as the evacuation commenced, we hit the stairwells and walked down 29 flights of stairs. People were walking slowly, chatting it up with each other and then milling around at the base of the building while the safety marshalls made sure every office on every floor had been evacuated. The process took 90 minutes before we were let back in.

My thoughts? If the building were on fire from an attack or if there were a threat of an attack, people would be running hell bent down the stairs, climbing over each other, screaming and acting like a bunch of wankers. Second, we sure wouldn't be milling around the base of a tall building in the event it did get flown into. "Oh, look! All the flying body parts, bits of glass and shredded paper raining down on us like Armageddon. Pretty . . ." Please.

If you ask me, this high up in the building, if we're going to practice emergency evacuation, then we need to practice throwing a chair or desk through the exterior windows and jumping out. Or, dousing ourselves in jet fuel, setting ourselves alight and then running around waving our hands and screaming as the flesh melts off our bones. Because these are about the only practices which will come into play if a plane flies into my building.

What a bunch of stupid fucking shit we get subjected to as a knee jerk reaction packaged as "safety measures."